I win, I win!

I win. But you all get links for participating anyway.

Oh-Dark-Thirty

See you there, I need mucho help configuring my shizzle. It's da crunk, yo!

Do your worst!

I'm going to have a little contest here.

Within the next few days, I'm going to be purchasing a year long lease on a web server, and a domain name for my new blog, which I'm going to ENJOY writing to, as it will have a theme and purpose. The question for you folks is, what the hell am I going to call it?

For those of you that know me, this may be an easy question to answer, but for those who don't, here's what I'm planning on writing about for the next year:

- Air Force / ROTC
- Linguistics
- Geeky stuff, science
- Sports (Especially football, hockey, and soccer)
- some Fiction writing, possibly
- college life in general
- video games/retro 90's stuff

So what I'm looking for is help picking a title/domain name for the blog, in addition to a pertinent subtitle. I will then work on title graphics and such, and you can vote on them, I suppose. The winner will get a permanent special permalink category all to him/herself. So see what you guys can come up with, I'm looking forward to mooching off of your creativity for once.

Regards,
Jeff

Here you are, Ladies

I know it's not a good picture of me, but I was having a rough day.

Ahem.


Well, I promise I'll put a real one up when I get everything. I owe you all that much. =D

Weekend Update with Kevin Nealon

Here's my response to this weekend's games:

Pitt - UConn
Good to see that Pitt doesn't totally suck and that they can win games against tough opponents. My French class buddy Levon Kendall went in and played really well on defense, so bully for him.

NFC Champeenship
Well, does this game even matter? I mean seriously, the NFC is so weak this year that I can see the bottom of the cup. I knew whoever won would get pasted in the Superbowl, and you'll see that I'm right about it come February. I was rooting for the Falcons, and here's why.

When I was a kid, I sat there and watched the Bills lose 4 Superbowls. Now I wanted all those little Philly punks to have it even worse than I did, losing 4 NFC Championships in a row. But oh, well. After the game I was hoping for the Pennsylvania bowl.

AFC Champeenship
Well, I was rooting for the Steelers. I live in Pittsburgh, and as a Bills fan, I can never root for the Patriots, so there you go. I think that the Steelers had every opportunity to win this game, but Roethlisberger threw some bad balls, and they just had no luck. I woulda definitely gone for the touchdown on that last field goal, too, but then again, I'm not Coach Lockjaw.

The worst thing to come from this game? Now New England fans/players are going to be absolute DICKS for years. We already have to put up with that asinine VISA commericial with the crappy music and Teddy Bruschi gangster rapping "NOT IN OUR HOUSE!!"

(They seem to forget that they lost to the 4-12 Miami Dolphins.)

Now, we have to put up with all this 'Dynasty' bullshit, more crappy commercials, and Tom Brady's unshaven I'm-from-the-great-white-north-eh bearded longshoreman mug all over the damn Television.


Well, for the Superbowl, I'm stuck pulling for the Eagles.

Don't laugh, and I hope the ghost of Jim Kelly (I know he's not dead) doesn't come down and beat the living tar out of me later.

Actually, better yet:
I'm going to root for a 94-overtime tie, in which the stats are exactly the same on both sides, and they have to put in the coaches to play in the 3rd day because they run out of non injured players. Then the Eagles win by 3 points, but nobody counts it as a Superbowl victory because no starting Eagles were on the field at the end of the game.

It could happen.


Anyway, about the Uniform, I fully intend to have pictures of me in it when I get all the pieces. Ladies, just calm down, and try to cope with the massive attraction you have for me right now. We'll get through this together.

Slightly better look.

Let me know whatcha think.

The Double Deuce

I actually only got PARTS of my uniform. More on that later.

Uniform Day

Today I get measured for my uniform. Twill be great, I'll post a picture of me in it, when I get it.

Bys the whys, I was up early again today, but didn't get chucked out on my ear this time! We had AFTP this morning, (Advance Field Training Preparation), and I got my rear out of bed and trudged through the snow and wind and 16 degree temperatures all the way up cardiac hill to do it.
It was a good time.

Really.

And totally worth the hike.

(Is he sarcastic? Not this time.)


One thing I have to say about the ROTC. They really do make you feel welcome, and like you're a good person for even trying to do it. One thing the Cadet Lieutenant Colonel said today was, "You're going to be leaders. And at Field Training, there's only other leaders around. So if you can step up and be a leader there, you'll be a leader of leaders."

I know it's a lot of "leader"s but the phrase really stuck with me.


I can finally quit waking up in the morning asking myself why I should bother to go to class.
I have something to work for, finally.

I wanna be a leader of leaders.



That's all for now folks. More ironing to be done.

Go me.

I ironed today!

For the first time!

Isn't that... awesome...? Guys...?

Well one good thing about the damned ROTC is they get me off my ass to do stuff. Including ironing, which I'm sure is more manly a pastime than any of YOU pukes can claim. Except for maybe... underwater basketweaving. Or childbirth.

Anyway, here's a funny anecdote for you all:

Yesterday, per instruction, I woke up at 4:30AM and got my butt up the hill to Fitzgerald field house to do PT with the wing. Got started, fell in, stretched, did some abs.... and then was promptly thrown out of the PT session. Apparently, I need some kind of "Physical" or something. Bah.


Funny story number 2:

Every night I have to put up with the drunken idiots outside my window. Nothing new, but recently the chants and arguments out there have escalated because of none other than the.... NFL PLAYOFFS! How lucky am I to live in the shittiest neighbohood in Pittsburgh, where drunken Eagles and Steelers fans get in fights not 10 feet away from my bedroom? Plus, being a BUFFALO BILLS fan I can't even take sides!!

Go Bills. You'll see, Losman will learn a lot from Bledsoe (Hopefully not how to complete passes to the other team, Drew's specialty) and next year will be a good time. Playoffs here we come!

Just a quickie

Things uttered by my professors today, in direct quotation:

"shitting and pissing all over the place"
"they are scared their Dad will cut off their balls"
"the sucking rate drastically increased"

My semester in a nutshell, I guess.

*Ahem*

nuff said.

Cop-Out Post

Holidays = Amish country of the Internet, what with 14k modems and such

This week = BUSY BUSY BUSY OMG BUSY


Sorry.

Belay that, soldier

Yeah. It's finals week. So...

Belay that remark, the one below about Monday night Tuesday-ish? I have a lot of crap to do. I do have an idea though, and it's a goodun. I'll probably hit it up Thursdayish - Friday, if not next week. Sorry Harv, looks like you'll be waiting til the year.... 2015.

It's coming

It will be a few days before I post again, chaps. Today I have a doctor's appointment, and thusly will be home all night 'cause my Dad isn't a chauffeur. Tomorrow I have class again, and then I leave again to drive the 5 and a half hours up to Rochester to help my Dad move some furniture down to Pittsburgh. Monday I have a final. But expect something somewhere Monday night-Tuesdayish. I'm trying to think of something to apply my talent for fiction to that doesn't include a certain four number phrase - the number that shall not be mentioned, Harv. The new thing I do should be about 700x better though, cause only I'm writing it. That means I don't have to rely on someone else to finish my ideas. I'll keep you posted, but until then, here's a picture I made:



Make my Day, you Commie Bird.

Oh yeah.

If'n you're interested, yesterday I officially sold my soul to Uncle Sam.

Pending acceptance, which is almost guaranteed, I will now be known as:
Cadet Third Class Jeffrey E. H*** , USAF ROTC

They gave me all this PT gear... an everyday reminder of how much pain I'm going to be in next semester when I'm behind everyone else in the PT reqs. Grr.

Christmas Is Better for College Students

Merry Christmas, everyone.

While you:
A. Slave and work all week trying to save up enough dough to buy your children and family Christmas presents
B. Whine and cry at your parents to buy you that new toy you saw on TV
C. Tell your grown son that you "Really don't need anything this year" while secretly wishing for a clapper for your bedroom lamp

I will be in the irresponsible bliss known as College.

This is an affliction with many symptoms, but these can be seen at Christmas time especially:
1. Failure to purchase any presents for anyone, due to lack of funds
2. Removal from the holiday exchange lists, due to irresponsibility
3. Suddenly moving back home for an extended period of time while not working
4. Asking for asininely expensive gifts like computer parts, car parts, exotic liquors, etc.
5. "Academic Hangover" - refusal to speak intelligently at home after 2 weeks of final exams


Hopefully this year I'll be less of a burden, as I'm now classified as an "Upperclassman". Maybe that means I won't drink all the beer in the house and drunkenly wrestle my stepmother?

Who knows. Good luck with your holiday shopping, and the next time you're standing in line at wal-mart with an exchange for 2 hours, consider maybe going back to school.


It might just make your holidays a little brighter.

Arguments with Claus

**DISCLAIMER** The following linked conversations include a lot of immature swearing and cusswords. We're sorry.

Today I got in a fight with Santa claus.

AOL has an instant messenger bot set up under the screen name Santa Claus, and I decided that i was going to stretch the limits of holiday cheer by pissing it off. The resultant conversation is here.

After i showed this to a few friends, one of them decided it was his turn to try his luck. Link here.

My favorite little excerpt from this experiment?

WTF Kop: Christmas is about Jesus!
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.

**UPDATE 3:37PM**

I apologized to Santa, and then decided to grill him Dragnet style. Results here.

No surprises here.

I tashte like Alcohol. Heh. Heh. I taste like beer. I like beer. Buy me a beer. I'm not drunk, I can drink plenty without... What was I saying? Beer. What Flavour Are You?

Christmas.

Simple enough, don't you think?

$41,926.44

That's how much I'd be making as an O-1 officer just out of college in the Pittsburgh area.

Now right now, I live on the following:
12 months rent @ $375 a month: $4500
12 months food @ $150 a month: $1800
12 months utilities at $100 a month: $1200
A year's worth of spending money: $1500
--------------------------------------------------
Total: $9000

As an officer: $41,926.44



Now what the hell am I going to do with the other 33,000 bucks?
This boggles my mind. I'm going to crap my pants, that's what I'm going to do.

And crap them HARD.

After 3 years and a scheduled promotion, the salary jumps to $60,000!!!

Now, to all of my Engineering friends, take a look at this:

According to a 2003 salary survey by the National Association of Colleges and Employers, bachelor’s degree candidates in mechanical engineering received starting offers averaging $48,585 a year, master’s degree candidates had offers averaging $54,565, and Ph.D. candidates were initially offered $69,904.

Ha! In your face, biatches! IN YOUR FACE!

Blogcrack

-this in no way is going to turn into an obligation of any sort-

Yeah, that's what they all say, huh? Well, some of you may remember Bigstick.us, or Hilarity Ensues as it was later called. They were used to showcase not only my dry humor, but also my coding skills. Well, it's been a while, and I'm sorry, I just have too damn much to say about stuff. There's too much going on for me to not bitch about it on the internets.

The Blogcrack is hard to quit.

Anyway, I don't want this blog to have a purpose. I know it's on shitty ol' blogspot, and I know it loads slow and sucks bandwidth and kills babies, etc, but it's the only cost effective solution for me at the moment, as I don't feel like bitching on the net should be something I have to pay for. So there.

Anyway, I don't mean for this blog to turn political or whiny or tinfoil chapeau'd. If it does, oh well, I guess, but you'll have that.

What I do want it to do is serve as a place where I can show lots of people exactly how I feel about certain things that may strike me as worthwhile to desecrate.

That being said, it's off to the races.

And check out my new flash homepage, at www.pitt.edu/~jeh8.

Happy hunting all.